my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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