yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
