Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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