You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
