At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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