i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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