Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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