That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
