just tell him i said nine months
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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