another moral hangover. fuck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry about my life...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
