Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
