I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize