Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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