After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
