brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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