if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
