All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
