Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
