The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
