Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
