I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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