I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Life is so much better after having sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize