Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
