can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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