dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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