You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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