My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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