I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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