"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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