so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize