...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize