I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
