Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
