I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
