So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish you could order shots online.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
why do cheetos always look like penises
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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