sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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