I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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