How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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