come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
