my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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