don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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