So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
