When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
