I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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