White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
someone owes me an orgasm
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
