This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize