dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you never un-have a 4some
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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