She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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