They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
