Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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