you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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