I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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