i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
