Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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