i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
