She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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