I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
