And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize