How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
