in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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