This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
