Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
don't judge my taste in strippers
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Enjoy the penises
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