I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
