how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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