We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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